Being an idiot has its drawbacks, not being taken seriously, for example. However, I quite like being an idiot because it means I can say all sorts of things a clever, intelligent person cannot in case it accidently crosses the line into bigotry or misogyny etc.
That’s why I have been helping Reform and Conservative MPs with their messaging.
The first MP to take an idiot’s stance recently could be said to be the Deputy Chairman of the Conservative Party, who went on Sky news to announce that anyone who had a ‘foreigner’ in the household should not be eligible for any benefits, no matter how long they had been here and how much they had contributed to society.
It was incredibly important to make sure the word ‘foreigner’ was emphasised, otherwise the xenophobia may have been missed.
This went so well that the shadow Chancellor opened the party conference with this policy, with the added bonus of ‘go back to your home country’ if it affects you.
Brainstorming with Nigel
I received a call from Nigel to meet in his ‘local’ for a pint and a brainstorming session. However, being an idiot, I went to Clacton only.to discover he hadn’t been seen there since the election.
We did get to meet in London, where I pitched the stupid, idiotic and unworkable idea that we should make every non-citizen re-apply for a visa every few years.
Nigel, was all for this despite there being a large number of UK residents who had been granted Indefinite Leave to Remain and had spouses who were UK citizens, who had been here for many years and were fulfilling important roles.
A vote winner! “Drinks are on Richard Tice”, he shouted.
There are, sadly some MPs that don’t need this idiots’ advice as they do a fantastic job all on their own.
It’s very annoying as they are doing me out of a job.
Robert “Bobby” Jenrick, (likes to be called Bobby) now, after his successful tracking down of fare dodgers on the London Underground. Where he fell down was forgetting that he, himself, had been found to have acted unlawfully whilst a Minister. This resulted in a Tory donor saving £40 million in community charges.
Fortunately for me, there are plenty of MPs needing the help of an idiot.
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