Looking at all the failed ex Tory MPs joining Reform, I can’t help but think about households putting out the unwanted, tarnished and broken items on the street waiting for the ‘rag and bone man’ to take them away.
Along comes a ‘donkey jacketed’, ‘fag in mouth’ Farage on a horse and cart.
Megaphone in hand, “Rag-bone”, “Rag-bone” is the cry, followed by a sing-song version of ‘Any old Iron’ with Tory replacing iron.
Reform and Farage (‘Scrap dealers to the stars’) have previously carried out a leaflet drop, asking for applicants to “not let any other scrappy recycle them”.
Reform and Farage can fulfil any and all of your dreams…
Peerage?
Nose back in trough?
Spot on GBeebies?
Access to multi-millionaires?
Yup, all of the above!
Fitting in at Reform and Farage
The leaflet explains that it is unimportant that you may have been useless, incompetent, sacked multiple times, been investigated by the Tax Man or anything else really.
If you have, that’s great, you will fit right in at Reform and Farage.
Any morals and ethics you started out with must have been abandoned. You will either have no recollection of the nasty things you said about Farage, or proclaim that you had been mistaken, and that, “no, Nigel could never, ever have been bigoted, racist or a fascist”.
If you can do that, climb up, get on board the Reform and Farage scrap wagon. In the back, obviously, with the others.
Don’t forget to use that shovel, Reform and Farage have a lot of horse manure to get rid of.
It may get a bit smelly and grubby, but you will be used to that, having been Boris cheerleaders.
Calling all Tories: Reform and Farage want you!
