My name is Gabriel Pazmino and I am an international student currently living in Newcastle for over 4 years. In this series of articles I want to showcase my experience as a foreigner living here in Newcastle. In case you missed the previous article, click here for Part 3 where I delve into friendships and safety.
Air travel
One of the nicest things about Newcastle I find is the ease of travel. I think this also applies to all of Europe, since flights can be ridiculously cheap with the right airline and the right time. I’ve taken flights to Germany for less than £40 and found even cheaper flights to Spain and other destinations. This is very different from back home, where the cheapest flights between neighbouring countries such as Peru and Colombia are upwards of £200 at the very cheapest. I can’t really hop on the plane and go visit neighbouring countries back home on a student budget, but here in Europe the cheapness makes it a possibility. At the same time, the proximity of countries also makes flying very quick as well, and it does not take as much to travel within Europe than within South America. Newcastle specifically is great, because you are located in a great position to be able to travel to another city if there are flights leaving from those airports such as Manchester, or Edinburgh, but at the same time also has its fair share of cheap flights as well. I really enjoy this aspect as it allows me to get to know this corner of the world that much better.
Land travel
Even land travel here is very convenient compared to back home. In Britain, you have railway systems that connect pretty much all the major cities, and with a rail card, one can buy tickets at reasonable prices. It’s a quick and effective way to transport oneself around, aside from delays and cancellations, which has never really happened to me, and I find them a fine way to transport myself around. This is very different to Ecuador, since we don’t really have a commercial railway system, and even the railways we have do not connect to every corner of the country.
I also absolutely love travelling by bus. It’s cheap and it’s not uncomfortable. Of course, it takes a long time, but I have found myself using buses the most when trying to travel anywhere. It’s pretty convenient if you can afford to spend a couple of hours sitting in a bus seat. I also enjoy the interconnectedness and variety of destinations within bus companies. I did not have that luxury back home if I ever wanted to take a bus to another city, since it would be unsafe.
Dating
One of my more interesting experiences here in Newcastle is the dating scene. I had to get used to different expectations regarding dating, as well as different behaviours between couples that were very different back home. When I first arrived in Newcastle, my objective was of course to study, but that did not mean I was also not on the lookout for any romantic partners.
Similarly to friendships I found myself connecting much more to international students than English students for romantic prospects. The experience of living in a foreign country is a shared experience, and I already found it easier to connect and become closer with my international peers over my British peers. That being said, the dating experience is still very different from back home. In Ecuador it is normal for two people going out, when they want to enter a relationship to make it a very important event. Here, I found out, that nots really the case, rather some people just talk about it and find that they have feelings for each other and get together, no big date or event required. I’m actually fond of this however since I do believe it’s a bit exaggerated how much we care back home for this sort of thing.
In a similar manner one thing I had to learn is the cultural differences when it comes to relationships. In South America, it’s normal for couples to be very clingy and spend almost every day together. I had to learn the hard way that cultures have very different approaches within relationships. I dated an Eastern European girl and she was the complete opposite of my expectations regarding behavior in a relationship. I saw her maybe once a week and texted very briefly each day, which to me was nowhere near enough what I thought was normal for a relationship. Over time, however, I adapted and realised that even if we did not see each other often that did not change the fact that she cared about me and showed it in different ways. She used to always bring me food, for example, which was her love language. Over time, I learnt to adapt and get used to these cultural differences and after that relationship ended I realised that I need to broaden my expectations regarding dating, since the dating experience with anyone is going to be very different, depending on their background and beliefs. Recently, I started going out with a Chinese girl and although there are many cultural differences, I’ve learned that we can always reach a compromise or accommodate for any differences, if we want things to work out. Dating is not easy, especially if one tries to do so outside their own culture.
Online dating scene
One thing that shocked me in particular when I came here was how big the dating scene on dating apps was. Almost every person I met either had used or had a dating app before or had friends that did. I have also met couples that meet through dating apps, and to me this was a crazy concept. Dating apps are not really a thing back home. It’s very old fashioned, in the sense you generally meet a prospective partner either through school, work, friends in common or a family relative introduces you to a family friend’s daughter or something of the sort. Dating apps don’t have a big presence back home and it’s also because it could be very unsafe. People could easily catfish and kidnap someone if they met on a dating app, and people avoid going back home because of that risk.
I was very against trying dating apps in the beginning, it felt like I was in some way showcasing I could not meet girls in person so I had to resort to finding someone online. Eventually I did give them a try by downloading Hinge only to be very disappointed with the dating scene online. As a guy, it was very hard to find a match and then even harder to talk to a girl that would not ghost me after two texts, and even harder to actually go on a date. I assume if I decided to use Hinge or a dating app for one night stand purpose it would probably be easier, but strictly for dating, I found myself not having much success, and ended up deleting the app.
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