When you walk into a classroom filled with thirty prepubescent or pubescent young people, unless someone has helpfully opened a window, the unmistakable aroma can hit you like a wall. A delightful blend of PE socks and heady hormones thinly disguised by a hint of overzealous, cheap body spray. The scent lingers in your memory long after the final bell rings.
Hormones are the tiny yet powerful biochemical messengers in our bodies, produced by the endocrine system, responsible for everything from sugar regulation and growth spurts to mood swings and ensure our bodily functions run smoothly. But like all Earth’s natural systems human behaviour is disrupting the balance of these molecular transmitters and we’re not totally sure of the long term impacts, which is enough to raise my cortisol levels before we’ve even started.
Someone pressed the ‘puberty’ button
Puberty typically begins between the ages of 8-13 for girls and 9-14 for boys and involves a series of physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that transform children into young adults. The main hormones involved are testosterone in boys and oestrogen in girls but the mood hormone, serotonin, plays a role too. Sprouting up like a beanstalk, spots, hair in new places or finding their voice is deeper than a bass drum, is part of the puberty package and nature’s way of mocking us, ‘Welcome to adulthood, LOL!’
Recently my Year 7 classes were all blushes when learning about sexual reproduction (which before anyone says anything, is in the national curriculum and, in my classroom, is taught sensitively with no dildos!). Rather than asking what they already know, pupils complete a word search with scientific names for the different organs. I only accept correct key terms such as ‘penis’ or ‘vagina’ so there’s no mention of ‘willies’ or ‘fannies’ allowed. Giggles.
One of my questions for pupils is ‘given they’re so sensitive, why do testisicles hang outside the body?’. Giggles.
The answer is that they need to be cooler than the rest of the body to produce sperm effectively. Their location in the scrotum means testicles stay cool, ensuring healthy production of the male gamete, sperm. The ideal temperature is around 34-35°C, which is below the body’s core temperature of 37°C. This cooler environment ensures sperm quality and motility. Giggles.
I don’t state that temperatures of 40°C or above can harm sperm production which is not great news for the survival of the human race in our warming world. In ecosystems, warmer temperatures have been demonstrated to reduce the number of eggs laid by insects, affect spawning times in fish, influence sex determination in reptiles, and impact breeding behaviors in amphibians. The effect of increasing temperatures on reproduction systems is just one more factor to wedge into the existential polycrisis. No giggles from me.
Oxytocin: The love hormone
I missed an entire lunch break this week to calm the frayed nerves of Pupil V in Year 10, who had been unceremoniously dumped by the ‘love of her life’ and her BFF who were seen running across the field together and bunking off school.
Whilst the HT managed the truancy issue, in my best supportive teacher mode I gave V a socially distanced shoulder to cry on, a tissue to dry her eyes, and then explained why she was feeling miserable; the hormone associated with love is oxytocin which is released in large amounts during bonding between individuals, her oxytocin levels were now decreasing and she understandably had feelings of abandonment. Pupil V left my classroom dry eyed and much more aware of the role of hormones in her love life than she’s probably anticipated.
Dopamine: The reward hormone
Last week, to avoid going out to the yard for break, a Year 11, Pupil N, asked to paint my nails. This I allowed, providing she had completed her work, which she duly did. The next lesson she asked if she could style my hair, again I agreed to maintain her motivation levels on precipitation reactions for which her interest was waning. I looked a little bouffant but okay. As she made the final curls with her tongs she was beaming. I explained that by doing something she enjoyed she was releasing dopamine, she laughed out loud and said ‘Nah Miss, I had a bet with my mates that you’d let me’. Anyway, at the end of term she pulled out her well-worn tanning gloves. This time my tolerance limits were tested, I refused and instructed her to get outside for some fresh air. Fake tan is a big step too far!
When you experience something enjoyable, like shopping, your brain releases dopamine, making you feel good and encouraging you to repeat the behavior but it can end with an emotional low when money runs short and you have bags of crap filling your home. On a bright note, engaging in eco-friendly activities can also trigger the release of dopamine. Whether it’s refusing to purchase something new, planting trees, or walking rather than driving, these actions can provide a feel-good sensation. Spread the word!
Endorphins: Happy hormone
Laughing out loud, munching on some dark chocolate, or spicing up your dinner releases endorphins. I might personally dislike vigorous exercise such as jogging as I turn as red as a beetroot, but listening to music and dancing can give you a legal endorphin high too.
Hubster is usually most content outside. There is evidence that putting your hands in soil can release these happy hormones to bring about a sense of satisfaction and calm. There’s a type of bacteria found in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, which has been shown to stimulate the release of serotonin and endorphins, enhancing your sense of wellbeing. I’ve shared this information with my gardening club, who seem far happier than the pupils who stay inside.
Melatonin: Sleep hormone
Being a ‘middle class woman of a certain age’ (no, I haven’t forgiven you Gregg) I quite like the winter months as I can cool off much more rapidly when I’m experiencing a hot flush. In warmer months, the pupils might watch me taking off or putting on my cardigan several times in a lesson. Menopause, set by the decline of oestrogen, and melatonin are closely linked, particularly when it comes to sleep disturbances.
Melatonin is primarily released by the pineal gland in response to darkness so it probably leads to my current desire to go into a state of hibernation. Mother nature designed women’s oestrogen levels to decline as we get older and are no longer reproductively useful yet I’ve not been tempted to take HRT unlike many of my friends who swear by it. They all looked very hot and bothered when national supplies ran low in the past couple of years.
Adrenaline: Fight-or-flight hormone
The fight or flight response is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived threat. It’s our body’s way of preparing to either confront or flee from danger. The response is triggered by the release of adrenaline and cortisol from the adrenal glands leading to increased heart rate, heightened senses and rapid breathing. I often feel this when going into a classroom. These survival mechanisms help you react quickly and effectively to a threat.
The escalating climate crisis is a life threatening issue but a flight response is ultimately not possible as there’s nowhere safe on Earth. My heart goes out to the citizens of the French territory of Mayotte who had no place to run or even hide when Cyclone Chido devastated the islands last week. Adrenaline makes you feel powerful in the face of adversity but keeping your senses heightened indefinitely is ultimately exhausting.
We can’t simply escape from floods, food insecurity or wildfires indefinitely. Once you appreciate the scale of the emergency then the only real option is to stand and fight (or, for the pacifists among us, at least complain loudly). The earlier the better; hup, two, three, four.
Endocrine disruption
Our endocrine systems are complex and finely tuned. Plastics and forever chemicals are found in everything from water bottles to non-stick pans and they mess with our biochemistry changing our moods to our metabolism. Plastics release bisphenol A (BPA) and phthalates, which mimic or block our natural hormones and forever chemicals (PFAS) affect fertility and brain development.
Hormones can enter water systems through agricultural runoff and from human waste including urine from people taking medications like birth control pills or HRT disrupting the endocrine systems of aquatic organisms, leading to reproductive and developmental problems, and posing a growing concern for both ecosystems and human health.
The UK currently bans the use of artificial growth hormones in livestock production and imported meat. In the US however farmers add hormones to beef to promote growth, improving efficiency and increasing profits. The US is to pressure the UK to import ‘high-quality’ American meat in a new Trump trade deal. Let’s hope our Government doesn’t go full hog and turn belly up.
Evolutionary bottleneck
According to multiple studies, sperm counts have declined by more than 50% globally over the past 50 years due to hormonal imbalances, exposure to toxins and lifestyle factors such as poor diet, lack of exercise, smoking, alcohol consumption, stress, tight trousers and high temperatures. As temperatures get higher and environmental pollution increases the situation will just get worse.
Maybe Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’, where women’s rights are abandoned, could become reality with young women forced to produce babies for the ruling class. Pictures from the US already show thick-necked men holding banners of “Women are property” and “Your body, my choice”. Hubster suggested a suitable response could be “Men are meat” as a provocation in my PSHE lessons. I fleetingly thought about using it, but being so antagonistic simply wouldn’t be appropriate.
Note to self: Take down the windchimes outside our bedroom window. Between a 3 am hotflush and the increasingly frequent stormy weather they’re keeping me awake by reminding me of all that is wrong in the world.
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