What a week it’s been! I’m exhausted and relieved there’s only a week or so until the much-needed Easter recuperation interval. On a bright note, it must be spring! We’ve had the first bumblebee of the year in the classroom. A buzzy bee is the second easiest way to disrupt a lesson following slightly behind the ensuing chaos caused by a wasp in the classroom when any chance of behaviour management seems to evaporate like my Friday night gin.
AI
On Wednesday, I was slightly unhinged by Pupil R when my Year 8 class were doing their reports on ‘Why do apple trees have flowers?’. This extended piece of science writing forms part of a topic assessment. Normally the report takes around three to four hours as the students need to research and describe sexual reproduction in plants before explaining the links between pollinating insects and human food security.
I like the task as it means I can encourage their independent working skills and drink a cup of coffee before it goes cold. So, it was shock horror when Pupil R, who uses a laptop to support his educational needs, declared that he had finished the entire task after around 15 minutes. I wandered over to find out what on earth he’d been up to, and he showed me an incredibly detailed and well written report. I was flabbergasted for a moment, thinking I was in the presence of an unrecognised genius but when asked how he had completed it so rapidly, ‘I just asked AI’ he responded.
Here I am trying to provide an education to young people, and they simply run rings around me. I felt disappointed in myself when I told him to write it in his own words… it seemed like a backward step in preparing him for the future.
The medium of dance
It was lively in the hall at break time. My eco-ally, Miss B the dance teacher, is currently choreographing a Waggle Dance with the Y7s to celebrate our buzzy little pollinators as part of a parent’s evening showcase. Unfortunately, due to a mix up in the office, parents have only been given four days warning to prepare a full bee outfit for their child.
My heart does go out to the parents of Pupils A, V and T – having triplets must be hard enough already. The dance steps are a tribute to the movements a bee makes to communicate where the flowers are to the rest of the hive. There is a lot of bottom waggling going on, at least twerking isn’t in the news so much anymore as it might be deemed inappropriate. We’re hoping that, following the display, the pupils go back home to their carers, parents and grandparents and use pester power to stop them buying and using pesticides such as glyphosates which can harm insects.
Protecting bee populations
In fact, Hubster is really concerned about bees on the smallholding as they are facing numerous threats to their populations in the UK. Across England we have lost over 97% of our wildflower meadows, mainly to new housing estates called ridiculous names such as Riverside Glade or Meadow Gardens. This has reduced the availability of suitable foraging and nesting sites for our native bees.
DEFRA has just given their fourth consecutive ‘emergency authorisation’ to use neonicotinoids once again on certain crops; these chemicals can harm bees directly through toxicity or indirectly by contaminating their food sources and disrupting their navigational abilities. The Wildlife Trusts said this is a “deathblow” so nothing to worry about there then (she writes, pulling a grimace). Unfortunately, the woes don’t end there, our little pollinating friends are also susceptible to various diseases and parasites, including the Varroa mite, which can weaken colonies and contribute to their decline.
Climate change causing problems
Needless to say, the beast that is climate change is causing problems too as it can affect the timing of flowering plants and extreme weather events, such as droughts and floods, and can also impact bee populations by reducing their foraging ability and damaging nesting sites. We have a tendency towards monoculture farming practices because they are ‘economic’ which adds to nutritional stress and can weaken bee colonies, making them more susceptible to other threats. We seem far more set on owning the natural world than understanding it and appreciating our dependence upon it – all the money in the world won’t mean much if we can’t get food on the tables.
Conservation measures
So Hubster is taking the metaphorical bull by the horns. He is setting in place conservation measures, such as creating pollinator-friendly habitats, avoiding pesticide use, promoting sustainable farming practices, and monitoring native bee populations. I did think about keeping honey bees with a couple of hives on the smallholding, but they never materialised as Hubster said they would compete with the native bees. Although I attended a course on beekeeping a couple of years ago, I decided it wasn’t for me. I can train the dog, befriend the chickens, and even keep a vague control of the pupils in my classroom, but bees, there’s just no chance I can really communicate with them, and the bee-keeper suit is hardly flattering for a lady of my age and figure – I’d be the Michelin man personified.
From reading the last week’s headlines, it seems Mrs Bird may or may not be an extremist. I’m really not sure anymore. If the definition involves something about being unhappy with the actions or inactions of our political leaders to protect the future for the bairns in my classroom, then I probably should turn myself in to the authorities but I’m simply too busy, like a little bee trying to pollinate all the flowers whilst desperately avoiding those wretched pesticides.
Note to self: Sign up for a beginner’s guide to AI for teachers. At least it might help me stay a femtosecond ahead of the kids.
