According to science (specifically the Clausius-Clapeyron relationship), atmospheric water content increases by 7% per 1°C of warming. Therefore, even just our current increase of ~1.5°C global heating means there is around 10% more water in the atmosphere.
As we keep burning fossil fuels, temperatures will keep rising. This means more water so the storms of the 2030s are likely to be biblical. I’ve instructed Hubster to start work on building an ark, although my sea-legs are well out of practice. Luckily as we’re in the 6th Mass Extinction he won’t have to plan on housing as many animals as Noah did. That said, we’re trying our best and after a decade of rewilding our tiny corner of the planet we now have an incredible array of wildlife and plants compared to when we purchased the smallholding in 2013.
Amazing technicolour meadow
It is tragic that 97% of UK flower meadows have gone. 11 years ago, we just had a field of monoculture, short grass. People asked what we were going to build, our answer was simple, we’re going to create something special. It’s now a blooming festival of biodiversity. We have 1.2 acres of meadow including buttercups, speedwell, crosswort, yellow rattle, scabious, knapweed, pink campion & more. One million flowers make us no money but bring immeasurable joy.
In the UK we have amazing common names for plants. All the best meadow flowers have at least four names. Rabelera is also known as stitchwort, Star-of-Bethlehem or ‘wedding cakes’. Pignut, Conopodium majus, a small delicate plant and perennial herb with an umbel of flowers, whose underground part resembles a chestnut and is sometimes eaten as a root vegetable tasting a little like a brazil nut. The plant has many English names including kippernut, cipernut, arnut, jarnut, hawknut, earth chestnut, groundnut, and earthnut – presumably these relate back historically to regional dialects.
You could write a thesis on any of the individual meadow species, from population distribution, taxonomy and structure to folklore and medicinal uses. Each year the first to bloom in our meadow is the beautiful Taraxacum officinale, the dandelion. Apparently, there are around 250 variants of the common dandelion, which I am unable to identify in any detail, but they are an invaluable early nectar and pollen source for many native bees, like the ashy mining bee as well as honey bees and bumblebees. I have also observed that the elegant pink Cardamine pratensis, aka Lady’s Smock or Cuckoo Flower, is favoured by the Orange-tip butterfly.
The sound of bees buzzing, the melody of bird song (lol, see what I did there?), the meadow swaying in the breeze, the stream trickling by and the warmth of the sun on my back. I might be a self-proclaimed extrovert, but the smallholding is my happy place. It’s where I feel centred and whole. I might have been brought up in the city, but this is where I belong.
Natural history in school
I do believe it’s important to rewild our kids too. Over the last 40 years the UK has lost 50% of the mass of its wildlife. Half as many birds, insects, mammals, wildflowers, and amphibians live alongside us compared to when I was a Year 9 student. Bird song has decreased, the buzz around the flowers is quieter and there is less colour in the fields. It’s such a shame that, as our biodiversity collapses, it took years to get the GCSE in Natural History on to the DfE’s agenda.
The fabulous Mary Coldwell, environmentalist, and author initiated its creation as ‘we can’t protect or value what we cannot see or don’t understand’. Teaching of the new course was supposed to start in 2025 but, unlike the rest of politics, it’s all gone very quiet on this front. If anyone knows what’s going on, please drop me a line and if you know someone in DfE suggest they have lessons on how to communicate effectively.
Despite my most dedicated efforts, I’ve had my fair share of rewilding failures in school. A couple of years ago we planted 60 mixed native wood saplings at the bottom end of the playing field. Between the 400C heat that summer and the occasional well aimed football we only have 10 left.
Any meadow areas get mowed despite the signs that say: “Pollinators Protected Area” or “Remember it’s No Mow May”. The grounds maintenance team have used glyphosate weed killer for the past few years to save them mowing right up to the base of hedgerows and trees – my pleading to various head teachers and the company responsible has gone largely unheard, although they do tend to avoid the actual allotment area and wildlife garden – it’s probably wise as otherwise I’d send my self-proclaimed eco warrior Year 7s around to teach them a lesson on why using pesticides or herbicides is a very bad idea. We used to have numerous hedgehogs on the school site, but I’ve not seen one in quite a while, this makes my green heart break and raises my hackles.
Words of warning
If you do school gardening teachers need to recognise potentially harmful plants such as Urtica dioica, the nettle, with which Pupil K had a serious altercation with last week. We sent him home swaddled in Rumex obtusifolius (dock leaves) as a herbal remedy. Another one to watch out for is Digitalis, more commonly known as foxgloves, which can cause stomach upset, small eye pupils, blurred vision, strong slow pulse, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, excessive urination, fatigue, muscle weakness and tremors, stupor, confusion, convulsions, abnormal heartbeats, and death. Sounds a bit like I feel after teaching 9C for an hour on Thursday afternoon.
Sometimes it’s all too much. I just feel like making my bed out of yellow Lady’s bedstraw, sprinkling some lavender on my pillow, and resting my weary head. However, with all the botanicals in a good old G&T that might be just the ticket too. Might have one tonight with the big bunch of flowers, to be specific overwintering cauliflowers, that Hubster just brought me – he’s the last of the true romantics. Should we have aloo gobi, cauliflower cheese or simply roasted with a touch of seasoning? Choices schmoices.
Note to self – remember to transplant the Arum maculatum, Lords-and-ladies or cuckoo pint, that I noticed in the school hedgerow and move it to the smallholding. Its large, arrow-shaped, purple-spotted leaves, flowering spike, yellow-green hood and green, orange, or red berries are just too tempting to touch for many young folk but all parts of it can cause allergic reactions with the berries being particularly poisonous. Consumption can lead to throat swelling, breathing difficulties, and stomach irritation – I’d hate to have to make a phone call home to parents to explain a poisoning incident!
