In accepting the vote, pretend you now think Brexit is a great idea even though you were a strong advocate for remain.
Claim that debate about the nature of Brexit is anti-democratic.
Conflate opposition and scrutiny, on any issue, with attempting to thwart Brexit.
Conclude that all opposition and scrutiny is anti-democratic and the views of those who oppose and scrutinise don’t matter.
Come to believe that all ordinary, decent, hard-working people are on your side.
Come to believe, by extension, that those who are not on your side are neither ordinary, decent nor hard-working.
Slip into talking about “the people” instead of “people”.
Replace debate with ad hominem attacks.
When a man with no soul is elected leader, tell the press anonymously what you think of him but say he’s a vote winner who’ll Get Brexit Done.
Comply with the closing down of Parliament “in the name of democracy”, and stand on a ticket in an election for the man who did it.
Buy a big flag and position it opposite your webcam.
Stay silent as ministers compare the EU to Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union.
If you’re in Scotland, speak without irony about the evils of nationalism.
Pretend that nobody has suffered from Brexit.
Brief journalists off the record that Johnson and Brexit are a disaster.
Stay silent as, one by one, your prime minister subverts all institutions of scrutiny and accountability.
Brief journalists off the record that Johnson and Brexit are a disaster.
Vote to make meaningful protest illegal and disenfranchise voters.
Brief journalists off the record that Johnson and Brexit are a disaster.
Acquiesce while asylum seekers are treated like cattle.
Brief journalists off the record that both Johnson and Brexit are a disaster.
Sit on your hands while your prime minister breaks the law and lies to Parliament.
Brief journalists off the record that both Johnson and Brexit are a disaster.
Watch as the Attorney General undermines the rule of law and speaks the language of Fascism.
Consider speaking out, before realising that you are now fully complicit.
If enough of your fellow MPs decide to get rid of your leader, join them and tell yourself you are taking action for the good of your country rather than because of what the polls are telling you.
Epilogue
Leave politics behind, reflecting on what you hoped to achieve when you came into it and how you demeaned yourself for a man who doesn’t know your name.
Write a memoir to tell us you always knew Johnson was a threat to democracy.
Hope against hope that history won’t remember your role in an attack on the democratic fabric of the country you insist on telling the world you love.
Put your flag in the drawer in your office, but keep it handy just in case.
First published on twitter.
