Poetry Corner

The ballad of father Boris

Illustration by Tom Owen
Twas the night before Christmas 
 And all through the house
 Not a creature was stirring
 Not even a mouse
 However, outside
 That wasn't the case
 Father Boris was waiting
 A  mask on his face.

 He ripped down the wreath
 And he smashed down the door
 He shredded the presents
 And spat on the floor.
 He smashed all the mirrors 
 And ripped up the bed
 He rifled the drawers 
 Then he finally said;

 "You oiks are so foolish
 Mistaken and daft
 You think I'm a haircut,
 A smirk and a laugh
 I'll show you all now
 What i really feel
 I'll happily destroy you
 For a Brexit No Deal"

 He butted the tree
 With his rumpled white head
 He muttered in Latin
 Then smiled as he said;
 "You give me your votes- everyone 
 I could take
 You never considered the chaos I'd make
 With my cuts and capers
 My japes and my punning
 And now heres my Elf
 Little Dominic Cummings"

 Rudolf and Blitzen stood there in silence
 The brutalised victims of political violence
 They knew it was time to take to the skies
 But Boris was PM and they feared for their lives.

 Twas the night before Xmas 
 And all over the house 
 Not a creature was working
 Not even a mouse.

Alistair Cowan