Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
However, outside
That wasn't the case
Father Boris was waiting
A mask on his face.
He ripped down the wreath
And he smashed down the door
He shredded the presents
And spat on the floor.
He smashed all the mirrors
And ripped up the bed
He rifled the drawers
Then he finally said;
"You oiks are so foolish
Mistaken and daft
You think I'm a haircut,
A smirk and a laugh
I'll show you all now
What i really feel
I'll happily destroy you
For a Brexit No Deal"
He butted the tree
With his rumpled white head
He muttered in Latin
Then smiled as he said;
"You give me your votes- everyone
I could take
You never considered the chaos I'd make
With my cuts and capers
My japes and my punning
And now heres my Elf
Little Dominic Cummings"
Rudolf and Blitzen stood there in silence
The brutalised victims of political violence
They knew it was time to take to the skies
But Boris was PM and they feared for their lives.
Twas the night before Xmas
And all over the house
Not a creature was working
Not even a mouse.
Alistair Cowan
