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One murky morn the Tories went A-fishing' in the sewer; An' catched a fish upon their heuk, They thowt leuk't very queer. But what a kind of fish it was The Tories couldn’t tell. So they hired it to advise them – shoulda Hoyed it doon the well! Whisht! Lads, haad yor gobs, An a'll tell yis aall an aaful story Whisht! Lads, haad yor gobs, An' a'll tell ye 'boot the Dom. The Tories felt inclined te gan An' fight amang themselves. Some joined a Brexit troop who cared Fo’ foreigners nor friends An' off they went t’austerity Where queer things them befell, They very soon forgot the Dom – shoulda Hoyed it doon the well! Well Dom’s ego growed and growed and growed An' growed an aaful size; He'd great big cheek, a greet big reach, An' great big goggly eyes. An' when at neets he craaled about To stay out of the news, He’d never stop upon the road, Not even for the loo. This feorful Dom wad often feed On anyone that’s weak, An' make them swally all his lies An’ folla him like sheep. An' when he'd fooled them aall he cud An' he was quite replete, He craaled away and lapped his tail Ten times roond Downing Street. The news of this myest aaful Dom, His viral gannins on Soon leaked out, got to the ears Of committees and so on. So oot they came an' summon’d Dom With questions on the cards, Noo we’d see herd immunity – Folk led like lambs and calves. So soon we’ll knaa how all the folks On both sides of the Wear Lost lots o' lives an' lots o' sleep An' lived in mortal feor. And noo we’ll knaa if anyone Will keep the bairns from harm, An’ who’s cost lives with aal their lies Alangside Durham Dom! To the tune of The Lambton Worm Lyrics by Kim Sanderson
