The strangest parliamentary by-election in years will take place on Thursday 13 August in the true-turquoise Reform town of Clacton-on-Sea. A quick catch-up if you’ve been in a Cistercian monastery for the last few weeks. On 7 July, in protest over parliamentary and media interest in a £5 mn undeclared gift from crypto-billionaire and Thai resident Christopher Harborne, Nigel Farage resigned as MP for Clacton.
At the same time, he declared he would stand in the by-election he had triggered, saying,
“The people of Clacton should be the judges of my actions. This will be a people versus the establishment by-election.”
Labour, Tories, LibDems and Greens decided to boycott the poll. It was a decision that Farage could have used against the mainstream parties.
But he hadn’t reckoned on Count Binface, an extraterrestrial from Sigma IX, intergalatic warrior, leader of the Recyclons and seasoned novelty election candidate.
The Count has managed to reduce Farage’s protest to farce, and he and his trash-can helmet are now at the centre of media attention.
Why should voters vote for Binface?
What does the alien invader stand for? His manifesto pledges include:
- Nationalise Adèle.
- Build at least one affordable home.
- Cap 99 ice creams at 99p.
- Tie nurses’ pay to that of Ministers.
- And of course, move the awkwardly placed hand dryer in the men’s toilet at the Crown and Treaty pub in Uxbridge to a more sensible position.
He has previously called for Listed Building status for Claudia Winkleman’s fringe.
He has also made some rather astute comments.
When asked why people should vote for him he answered, “Because I’m not Nigel Farage“
Asked by a GB News reporter what his policies were he said,
“All news operations should obey OFCOM rules. And secondly all news operations should obey OFCOM rules. And I could go on.”
At the Oxford Union debate “Fake it till you make it” (which he won) he argued:
“Brexit…That word on its own sums up what has happened to you guys. Fakery has completely screwed your generation. Fakery by liars who knew they were lying, who put their lies on red buses, 350mn lies a week.
“And it was bought by a bunch of people who are now statistically dead”
On being questioned about never visiting Clacton he has commented that he hasn’t as he was following the protocol of the present incumbent.
The Count is hardly an inarticulate moron.
Who is Binface?
Who is the man inside the bin? He’s 46 year old Jon Harvey.
With an Oxford BA in Greats (Literae Humaniores classics) he is a screenwriter and contributes to TV and radio shows including Have I Got News For You, The Thick Of It, and Yes Minister.
He is married to actor Sarah Daykin who has appeared in Fleabag and Slow Horses.
They have two children.
The Count is well experienced in elections, standing first in 2017 as Lord Buckethead.
He later took on the mantle of Count Binface when he was challenged on ownership of the Buckethead name.
As Count Binface he has stood in elections against Boris Johnson, Rishi Sunak and Andy Burnham.
He has twice garnered more votes than Ukip.
In the 2024 London Mayoral election, Binface won 24,260 votes – which was more than those for the ultra right-wing Britain First candidate.
Clacton is not a two-horse race: there are 34 contenders. In addition to a mob of Independents there are three Monster Raving Loony Party candidates who could split the Binface vote.
However, Farage has his own rival: the actor Laurence Fox, formerly appearing in TV’s Lewis, the Morse spin-off. He’s standing for his right-wing populist Reclaim Party which opposes “extreme political correctness”.
Could the ultimate immigrant -an intergalactic alien – become an MP in a Reform town?
Stranger things have happened. Take Hartlepool’s election for a newly- instituted mayor in 2002, the local football club’s monkey-dressed mascot – H’Angus- decided to stand as a publicity stunt. (The mascot was named to commemorate the legend that the town had hanged a monkey mistaking it for a Napoleonic spy – easily done).
The man in the monkey suit, Stuart Drummond, won and turned out to be rather a good mayor. He also won two further mayoral elections until the position was scrapped.
Then there’s Boaty McBoatface, the name chosen by public poll in 2016 for a very serious £200mn polar research ship.
Perhaps Count Binface could tap into that anarchic streak of British humour and take up a seat in the Commons, removing the bin to comply with parliamentary rules on headwear whilst addressing the House.
The Count claims that the face beneath the bin is “putrefying”. To judge for yourself click here to see Jon Harvey’s earthling visage.
He’s actually rather a dish.
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