I was doomscrolling on Twitter last night when I stumbled into another culture war skirmish: a photo of Harry Styles in his now famous Vogue dress. The picture itself was harmless and playful. But the replies underneath were a battlefield. Men calling him “unstable,” “confused,” saying he’s “attention seeking”. Others rallying behind the concept of “Making men manly again,” as if a single man in tulle had brought society to its knees.
What struck me wasn’t the dress. It was the panic.
Women in the comments were mostly delighted, praising the confidence, the image and design of the dress, completely disregarding the fact that underneath the fabric was a man, because quite frankly it was irrelevant when such a profound and beautiful piece of art was the main display of the cover, but instead the dress was overshadowed by so many men responding as if Styles had personally attacked them just by existing outside the narrow box of acceptable masculinity. And it made me wonder why the idea of a man showing even an ounce of femininity is something to feel ashamed, embarrassed of, yet to women the concept seems liberating and exciting? It made me question why men are so threatened by the thought of expression through clothing and consequent fluidity it can bring?
That’s what this essay is about, not Harry Styles, not even the dress, but the deeper cultural fault line it exposes, men terrified of being emasculated, and women praising the sincerity those men are running from.
The social conditioning of masculinity
Masculinity is more than just an identity, it’s a hierarchy. Men constantly compare themselves to other men, not to women. Masculinity is policed and ranked by who is most confident, stoic and tough. It as a whole is fuelled by the desire to compete and those who are seen as the most strong, desirable and confident are granted a higher social status and often sit at the top, and as soon as a man shows even an ounce of vulnerability or expression their position on this social ladder drops and it opens them up to ridicule and mockery, whether it be from peers or even internally with or without realising it themselves. Masculinities entire solar system is based on strength, a lack of vulnerability and in a way uniformity. ‘Manhood’ as we know it, is fragile; it’s something that can be removed when one has slipped outside of the imaginary boundary it is based on. It isn’t innate, it’s a permission slip other men can police and tear at any point.
The reason why Styles and his dress has received such backlash is because of two main things: the fact that visibility makes nonconformity more threatening to those influenced by it and the fact Harry himself doesn’t bat an eyelid at the choice he made. He is unapologetic and unregretful, which highlights how stupid and arbitrary the rules of manhood actually are.
So, if we really think about the underlying message of the comments of that one twitter post, especially the quote “make men manly again” it further proves the desperation for relevance and the fear of losing control and that masculinity is no more then a whim, a made up concept that has no actual substance unless it is forcefully policed and ensured. And the fact one is clinging to the idea of a ‘return’ of such a vague and outdated ideal, further highlights just how ridiculous and unstable the concept actually is.
The expansiveness of feminism
The entire standpoint of feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights in a mission to provide complete equality in society for the present and the future. Unlike masculinity, feminism is fluid, its everchanging and never ranked as a status competition. It’s adaptive, expansive and expressive. Women grow with the expectation that their individuality will adapt and exist differently throughout their lives, through relationships, jobs, triumphs, work and motherhood and all of this can coexist without threatening the person they are. Feminism is fluid. Whereas toxic masculinity will shrink under change, feminism will expand to fit all the trials and tribulations that life may face. When a man shows that sense of openness to change and transformation, women tend to read that as emotional honesty, not a weakness that defaces the whole ideology of ‘manhood’.
In a world where most women have sadly faced the negative and extreme side of toxic masculinity, it can feel liberating and refreshing to see such an influential figure in pop culture completely rewrite and juxtapose the entire belief system. Seeing Styles undermine the emotional repression, fragility and instability of ‘manhood’ through this form of expression, he demonstrates that zoning into a more feminine side isn’t in fact a weakness. It is a strength that proves there is no real meaning behind the concept of being ‘a man’
Overall, the reaction and backlash that Harry Styles faced had nothing to do with him, or even the dress he wore. It’s about what the ability to undermine these imaginary boundaries symbolises. The freedom to self-expression and the bravery to challenge the fragile concept of masculinity. Harry Styles wearing a dress on the cover of Vogue is more than a fleeting fashion moment. It’s a statement that creativity, vulnerability, and individualism belongs to everyone, and that true power lies in embracing it, not mocking it.
